Treading Water

In the context of a very specific conversation today, someone asked me, "You know what you want, right?" I did for that situation, but it got me thinking. (Which can be dangerous.)

What do I want? I'm alright with where I am right now. Not overjoyed, but alright. I can honestly say that I'm now fine with being single. But I feel like I've been just treading water, just trying to keep from drowning, never moving forward. And really, I've never been a good swimmer.

Two Weeks Fast Food Free

On September 26, I quit fast food. I allow myself 1 fast food meal per week. I ate out for lunch on 9/26 before I could go grocery shopping. I had Arby's last Saturday for dinner. Then I had Arby's again on Monday. This was not something I wanted to do, but the circumstances dictated that I either eat Arby's for dinner or go without dinner (or so I thought). To make up for that, I won't be eating out this Saturday.

In any case, I am getting used to this "cooking" thing that people talk about. I love watching Good Eats and I even got to use something from it today! I cooked up an orange roughy filet. Tasty. I also tried some red potatoes, but it didn't quite work out. I'm going to stick to boiling those suckers in the future.

The only problem I have in the grocery store is keeping myself from buying too much. It's a little difficult to purchase just enough for one person. Finding a squash that's small enough for just me was ... interesting. I felt kinda weird digging through the squashes to find a little one.

Last month I spent almost $200 eating out. This month I have spent under $25 so far. Of course, I have spent more on groceries, but I feel like I have enjoyed my food more.

Fast Food Cold Turkey

I've had a few months lately where money was tight. Problem is that there was really no reason for it. I have made some larger purchases, like a dresser from IKEA and some good shoes from DSW, but they weren't anything that would break the bank. Most months I keep good track of my spending. Not so much lately. That's the first thing to change. The next is spending habits. I know I have more than one thing to work on, but the big one is fast food.

I will now admit a somewhat embarrassing fact. I do not cook. It's not that I can't or that my cooking is poisonous ... I just don't do it. I don't really like it, I'm lazy, and usually I'm exhausted by the time I get home from work. But if I spent as much food on groceries as I do on fast food, I could be dining on gourmet cuisine for the entire month. Generally, the only meals I do not eat from a restaurant is lunch at work. Half the time I don't eat lunch at all.

Thus, my new resolution. For one month, starting this Saturday, I will be quitting fast food. Cold turkey. I get paid tomorrow, which means I can go grocery shopping at a nice new HEB near my house. I will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner from those groceries. I will do this until my next paycheck. Hopefully this will somewhat break me of my habit. I am going to allow myself one fast food meal per week, regularly reserved for Saturday.

I'll be posting updates on my endeavor. Sarah will not be changing her fast food habits (which is totally okay with me), so I will be taking her through the drive-thru as she requests on our daily transit. I'm making a mental note of my weight right now and I'll let you know if that changes at the end of the month.

Wish me luck!

Patterns, patterns everywhere!

I love to crochet. Even more, I love to look at patterns and buy magazines. So I have ended up with a lot of magazines that have a couple of lovely patterns in each of them. The problem is that most of the patterns are crap. If it's labeled "innovative" or "a new twist on an old classic", don't even bother looking at it. So I end up with a few good patterns taking up a whole lotta shelf space.

Here's my solution: I'm going to create a pattern CD. I'll scan all those patterns that I actually like, categorize them, then burn the whole thing to CD! Then I can recycle all those space-hogging magazines.

Of course, it will be a few years until this actually happens.

I so smart. I post on blog. So I not forget.

Restaurant

If I ever owned a restaurant, I would name it Vittles. It's such an old-timey name and it feels cool to say it. :)

My Sister's Clarinet

Waaaaaaay back when I was in high school (okay, it was only 10 years ago), I played clarinet. I really enjoyed it. Marching season was awesome and I liked stretching myself during concert season. I was competitive to say the least. My freshman year I was in 3rd band, 2nd band for sophomore and junior years, and finally 1st band my senior year.

When I didn't make 1st band my junior year, I was crushed. It actually ended up being a very good thing. It seemed like the director for second band chose music that really pushed my capabilities as a musician. I learned how to play some dang high notes. He was a great director and I enjoyed that year immensely. I was really proud of myself when I eventually became first chair in the first band during my senior year and I don't think it would have been possible without that experience. I also got to play in the full orchestra, with a solo my senior year.

My clarinet was a trusty Yamaha wood student model. My parents got it for me when I started playing in 6th grade. It took years of abuse and still kept going. At the end of high school, there were several missing chunks of wood that had been filled in and a couple of cracks were forming in the bell. It sounded okay, but the directors basically begged me to borrow my sister's clarinet.

Sarah's clarinet is also a Yamaha, but it is a professional model with silver-plated keys. I didn't think it would make that much difference, but I sounded so much better on her instrument. Sarah let me borrow her clarinet many times during my senior year, with strict instructions to guard it with my life. It made a great difference in several of my performances. I begged her to let me keep it, but she treasured it as a gift from Mom & Dad.

When I graduated from high school I also got my braces off. I didn't know how to play without my braces because my embouchure completely changed. I'm pretty sure I caused my ensemble to get a bad rating at State Solo & Ensemble. I hadn't expected it to make that much of a difference. So I stopped playing. Later, with a promise of a better clarinet, I sold my old clarinet - something I very much regret doing. I ended up with another instrument that was a bit better, but not nearly as good as what I wanted.

I'd wanted to start playing again for ... well, since I stopped. I don't need to play for anyone else, I just love making music. I love the sound of the clarinet: warm, round, smooth, and light. But every time I went to play that clarinet that I had bought, I just couldn't put my heart into it. It wasn't my clarinet. It felt like a stranger I didn't like who was invited in by someone else.

When I told Sarah about the frustration I was experiencing, she did something I never expected. She gave me her clarinet. It is one of the best gifts I have ever received. Sarah's clarinet is an old friend, with wonderful memories attached to it. I get to play again!

Sarah's clarinet is at the shop right now, waiting for an overhaul. I'm rather impatient to get it back so I can get working. I have the phone number for an instructor who teaches down the street. When my performance level is high enough, I hope to find an amateur ensemble. It'll take a while, though! Thank you, Sarah.

I know how to end the drought!

Everyone .... go get a car wash!

The Mother of Fun Fur

If you knit or crochet, you know about fun fur. Perhaps it may be possible to make something attractive with it, but usually you get items like the ones found in this blog:

He!He!He! That Tickles! - What Not to Crochet

I believe I have found the origins of fun fur. (Click on the picture for a better view.)



I was browsing the local Half Price Bookstore's craft section when I stumbled upon this monstrosity. The book, Better Homes and Gardens Complete Book of Knitting Crochet & Embroidery, was published in 1977, but that's no excuse! It looks like it's going to eat the baby. The pattern is even worse. Part of it reads as follows:

Cut rem balls, of all colors, into 5in lengths. Following chart knot 2 strands together around every dc on the piece. Trim strands to desired length or leave shaggy.

There are 2,448 double crochet stitches. In other words, you would have to tie 2 short pieces of yarn around a part of the blanket 2,248 times. I'd rather be disemboweled, stuck with hot pokers, skinned alive, and quartered! In a sick way, it makes you grateful for today's "fun fur". A very, very sick and twisted way.

Yotsuba &!

Yotsuba &! is a very cute and random manga that I really loved reading! Yotsuba is an irresistible character. She reminds me of myself, but maybe a bit more dense.

I purchased volumes 1 - 5, but 6 was never released when the publishers said it would be. I found out that they basically abandoned the project in favor of subbing/dubbing anime. Luckily, there are some lovely folks out there who scan manga and translate it for us poor American folk who don't have access to it. I would gladly pay for the service, but perhaps it just isn't worth the media companies' time. Oh well. At least I got to read the rest of it!

Happy Easter

Spring Break

It's almost over ... :(
Sarah and I have cleaned up the house a bit. I did laundry. We spent time with family and friends. Overall, it's been rather productive and very nice. I was disappointed when we all realized that it wasn't the best time for a trip to Dallas, but our visit has been rescheduled for the first weekend of April.

I can't think of anything very interesting that has happened, so I think I'll leave it at that. See ya!

A Little Explanation ...

I haven't posted anything in a long time. Most of you are family, so you already know what's up. When Baxter died on December 11, it hit me really hard. It was so unexpected. He was getting a treatment that was supposed to cure his hyperthyroidism, but they think that his body just couldn't handle the rapid change. It was the first time in the 10 years that the vet had been performing this procedure that a cat had died. The treatment involves radioactive iodine, so it took a little while to get his body so we could bury him. Thanks to Mom and Dad for letting me bury him in their backyard next to Sam.

To say that I miss him is an understatement. Just writing this out is really hard for me. I know that many people don't understand how I can be so upset about a cat. Simply put, Baxter was my best bud. I don't think I can adequately describe how much of a comfort he was to me. He literally saved my life. He was always there for me.

Maybe I'm strong enough to go on without that help now. Maybe that's why the Lord saw fit to take him. I am no longer in an emotionally abusive relationship. My bipolar disorder is under control. I have been able to buy a car, I'm paying down my debt, and I'm looking into the possibility of buying a house sometime in the next year or so. Maybe there's some other reason altogether.

I couldn't blog about my life without talking about Baxter's death, because it had a large impact on me. Now that it's out there, I think I may be able to post some more.





Forgive the crappy photography, but this is the best picture I have of him sleeping on his back.

How I Feel About Blogging

Click on the image below.