If I only had time... and motivation...

I've been thinking a lot about all the things I would like to accomplish if I had unlimited time, money, and motivation. That last one is probably the biggest problem. So, in no particular order (mostly), here we go:

• Pay off my credit card. I was getting close, then I bought a house. Frustrating!
• Get a piano. A baby grand would be awesome and I have the perfect place for it.
• Play piano well enough that I could sing along to relatively simple songs. The ultimate would be if I could play Claude Debussy's Claire de Lune, but that's probably a bit much too hope for.
• Sing well enough where I wouldn't be embarrassed to do a solo. I'd love to have some lessons.
• Play Mozart's Concerto for Clarinet. Even just for myself, no performance necessary.
• Play guitar well enough that I can sing at the same time.
• Compose songs.
• Become fluent in Japanese.
• Visit Japan (for a significant length of time).
• Attend my favorite K-Pop artists' concerts. Meeting them would be awesome, but I know that won't happen.
• Lose weight and be fit (~120 pounds). This is the hardest one on the list, for so many reasons. 
• Learn how to build furniture. I'd like custom furniture for my house, and building it myself would be rather awesome.
• Write. I have quite a few stories floating around in my brain, but I find it difficult to actually get them on paper.
• Write at least one application for Android that would be a useful tool for many people.
• Nicely landscape my front and back yards. I don't really care to do the physical labor myself, though!
• Become a better swimmer.
• Learn how to sew as well as Mom. 
• Knit an Aran sweater.
• Help reduce the social stigma of bipolar disorder.
• Somehow encourage more girls to major in Computer Science (or something like it) in college.

I'm sure there's a lot more, but I that's what I can think of right now. 

Treading Water

In the context of a very specific conversation today, someone asked me, "You know what you want, right?" I did for that situation, but it got me thinking. (Which can be dangerous.)

What do I want? I'm alright with where I am right now. Not overjoyed, but alright. I can honestly say that I'm now fine with being single. But I feel like I've been just treading water, just trying to keep from drowning, never moving forward. And really, I've never been a good swimmer.

Two Weeks Fast Food Free

On September 26, I quit fast food. I allow myself 1 fast food meal per week. I ate out for lunch on 9/26 before I could go grocery shopping. I had Arby's last Saturday for dinner. Then I had Arby's again on Monday. This was not something I wanted to do, but the circumstances dictated that I either eat Arby's for dinner or go without dinner (or so I thought). To make up for that, I won't be eating out this Saturday.

In any case, I am getting used to this "cooking" thing that people talk about. I love watching Good Eats and I even got to use something from it today! I cooked up an orange roughy filet. Tasty. I also tried some red potatoes, but it didn't quite work out. I'm going to stick to boiling those suckers in the future.

The only problem I have in the grocery store is keeping myself from buying too much. It's a little difficult to purchase just enough for one person. Finding a squash that's small enough for just me was ... interesting. I felt kinda weird digging through the squashes to find a little one.

Last month I spent almost $200 eating out. This month I have spent under $25 so far. Of course, I have spent more on groceries, but I feel like I have enjoyed my food more.

Fast Food Cold Turkey

I've had a few months lately where money was tight. Problem is that there was really no reason for it. I have made some larger purchases, like a dresser from IKEA and some good shoes from DSW, but they weren't anything that would break the bank. Most months I keep good track of my spending. Not so much lately. That's the first thing to change. The next is spending habits. I know I have more than one thing to work on, but the big one is fast food.

I will now admit a somewhat embarrassing fact. I do not cook. It's not that I can't or that my cooking is poisonous ... I just don't do it. I don't really like it, I'm lazy, and usually I'm exhausted by the time I get home from work. But if I spent as much food on groceries as I do on fast food, I could be dining on gourmet cuisine for the entire month. Generally, the only meals I do not eat from a restaurant is lunch at work. Half the time I don't eat lunch at all.

Thus, my new resolution. For one month, starting this Saturday, I will be quitting fast food. Cold turkey. I get paid tomorrow, which means I can go grocery shopping at a nice new HEB near my house. I will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner from those groceries. I will do this until my next paycheck. Hopefully this will somewhat break me of my habit. I am going to allow myself one fast food meal per week, regularly reserved for Saturday.

I'll be posting updates on my endeavor. Sarah will not be changing her fast food habits (which is totally okay with me), so I will be taking her through the drive-thru as she requests on our daily transit. I'm making a mental note of my weight right now and I'll let you know if that changes at the end of the month.

Wish me luck!

Patterns, patterns everywhere!

I love to crochet. Even more, I love to look at patterns and buy magazines. So I have ended up with a lot of magazines that have a couple of lovely patterns in each of them. The problem is that most of the patterns are crap. If it's labeled "innovative" or "a new twist on an old classic", don't even bother looking at it. So I end up with a few good patterns taking up a whole lotta shelf space.

Here's my solution: I'm going to create a pattern CD. I'll scan all those patterns that I actually like, categorize them, then burn the whole thing to CD! Then I can recycle all those space-hogging magazines.

Of course, it will be a few years until this actually happens.

I so smart. I post on blog. So I not forget.

Restaurant

If I ever owned a restaurant, I would name it Vittles. It's such an old-timey name and it feels cool to say it. :)

My Sister's Clarinet

Waaaaaaay back when I was in high school (okay, it was only 10 years ago), I played clarinet. I really enjoyed it. Marching season was awesome and I liked stretching myself during concert season. I was competitive to say the least. My freshman year I was in 3rd band, 2nd band for sophomore and junior years, and finally 1st band my senior year.

When I didn't make 1st band my junior year, I was crushed. It actually ended up being a very good thing. It seemed like the director for second band chose music that really pushed my capabilities as a musician. I learned how to play some dang high notes. He was a great director and I enjoyed that year immensely. I was really proud of myself when I eventually became first chair in the first band during my senior year and I don't think it would have been possible without that experience. I also got to play in the full orchestra, with a solo my senior year.

My clarinet was a trusty Yamaha wood student model. My parents got it for me when I started playing in 6th grade. It took years of abuse and still kept going. At the end of high school, there were several missing chunks of wood that had been filled in and a couple of cracks were forming in the bell. It sounded okay, but the directors basically begged me to borrow my sister's clarinet.

Sarah's clarinet is also a Yamaha, but it is a professional model with silver-plated keys. I didn't think it would make that much difference, but I sounded so much better on her instrument. Sarah let me borrow her clarinet many times during my senior year, with strict instructions to guard it with my life. It made a great difference in several of my performances. I begged her to let me keep it, but she treasured it as a gift from Mom & Dad.

When I graduated from high school I also got my braces off. I didn't know how to play without my braces because my embouchure completely changed. I'm pretty sure I caused my ensemble to get a bad rating at State Solo & Ensemble. I hadn't expected it to make that much of a difference. So I stopped playing. Later, with a promise of a better clarinet, I sold my old clarinet - something I very much regret doing. I ended up with another instrument that was a bit better, but not nearly as good as what I wanted.

I'd wanted to start playing again for ... well, since I stopped. I don't need to play for anyone else, I just love making music. I love the sound of the clarinet: warm, round, smooth, and light. But every time I went to play that clarinet that I had bought, I just couldn't put my heart into it. It wasn't my clarinet. It felt like a stranger I didn't like who was invited in by someone else.

When I told Sarah about the frustration I was experiencing, she did something I never expected. She gave me her clarinet. It is one of the best gifts I have ever received. Sarah's clarinet is an old friend, with wonderful memories attached to it. I get to play again!

Sarah's clarinet is at the shop right now, waiting for an overhaul. I'm rather impatient to get it back so I can get working. I have the phone number for an instructor who teaches down the street. When my performance level is high enough, I hope to find an amateur ensemble. It'll take a while, though! Thank you, Sarah.